Oh Baby!

“Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way.”   –Pamela Dugdale

My sister Deb is three years younger than me. She is one of my best friends…now. But, when she came home from the hospital, I was foursquare against giving up my rightful place as the only girl. One afternoon, my grandmother was holding sweet little innocent newborn Deb and I said, “Granna, put that dumb baby DOWN!” Fortunately, the rivalry was short-lived and Deb and I ended up being favorite playmates and shared a room until I left for college. (Of course, my grandmother insisted on retelling that story to her friends every time I came for a visit.)

My parents could have benefited from the Community Hospital class I took with my kids this week: “Siblings class.” It’s a ‘what to expect when your mom brings that little interloper home from the hospital’ class designed for the new baby’s brothers and sisters.

I have four children. My older boys, ages 10 and 12, were not too excited about going to the class. I promised them that they would not have to change any diapers and we’d get pizza in the hospital cafeteria afterwards. My younger kids, ages 8 and 6, were looking forward to the class. Especially my daughter, Claire, the 6-year-old, because she WAS hoping to change a diaper!

The siblings class is a wonderful, one-hour introduction to life after a baby comes home. There are several ‘stations’ set up that teach older siblings how to keep their hands clean (thanks to glow in the dark sparkle hand gel and a device called ‘Mr. Germ’), how to diaper a baby and how to buckle a newborn into a car seat. They also learn how they can contribute by being the ‘big helper’ around the house, and there is even a small library with books about new babies that families can read together. The kids watch a short video about what will happen to mom while she in the hospital and then the entire family gets to tour the maternity floor and peek into the nursery windows.

Although my older kids had their doubts, the siblings class turned out to be a fun way for our entire family to get ready to welcome our newest member.

What’s happening to baby this week?
*Baby now weighs almost five-and-a-half pounds.
*Most babies will now be head down (the traditional birthing position). Less than 5 percent of babies are breech (bottom down).
*Many parents begin narrowing their list of baby names now. Keep in mind that while a unique spelling or name may sound interesting now, your baby will have this name for the rest of their life. Some parents wait until their baby is born to name them in order to see if the name will ‘fit’ their baby.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*I am amazed that after finally being free of a diaper bag, wipes and the need to buckle children in their seats, I am entering the world of babies once again.
*My children suddenly seem very grown up and tall.
*I am getting excited to have a new little one, even though it will be chaotic.

Community Health Network’s siblings class can help you prepare your other children for baby’s arrival. Click here to register!

Let’s hear from you!
If you have other children at home, what are some successful ways you have prepared them for a new sibling?

“Writing is like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” –E. L. Doctorow

Of all the good things I did during each of my pregnancies (diet, exercise, vitamins, etc.), there is one thing of which I am most proud: I’ve always kept a pregnancy journal. This is quite the accomplishment, because I get panicked looking at a blank page. But with each pregnancy I forced myself to put pen to paper and keep an account of my progress. Nothing noteworthy or profound, simply a short page here and there, whenever I found the time; I tried to document the growth and changes of each of my children before they were born. (Past journals have proven invaluable for easing my constant neuroses and worrying…I look back through my past pregnancies and discover, “Why YES! I was a weepy mess with THAT pregnancy as well!”)

Surprisingly, with this pregnancy, journaling has been getting easier…because moving my body is becoming harder. I used to be an avid exerciser. I would work out almost daily, even if all I could accomplish was just a 30-minute walk. However, I was most happy when I finished a back-to-back kickboxing class followed by weight training. These days, I am happy when I can climb up to my bedroom at night without a two-minute pause on the landing halfway up. My 30-minute walks have turned into laborious quests to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, and resistance training means doing Kegels while I am in the carpool line.

So now, while I elevate my swollen ankles on the couch, I grab my journal and pen and begin writing. Things like, “I’m lying on the couch elevating my swollen ankles,” and other such Pulitzer Prize-winning thoughts. I talk about my doctor’s appointments, my fears about labor, my crazy middle-of-the-night dreams that make no sense. My journal is filled with the hopes and joys (and fears and worries) that every expectant mother experiences. It also contains pages and pages of detailed notes of each kick and twist of the increasingly large bump in my belly.

But the most wonderful aspect of journaling is that now, when my children ask me what they were like inside of me, I can open their journal and read to them; that even then, I could tell what kind of personality they would have. Most often they snuggle tighter to me, and ask me to read it to them again.

What’s happening to baby this week?
*Baby now weighs almost five pounds.
*Baby’s lungs have been developing since the fourth month and with the exception of the air sacs, are now mature enough to breathe air.
*The first breath will be five times more difficult than an ordinary breath. Similar to the effort it takes to blow up a flat balloon.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*Catching my OWN breath is difficult; I have to take frequent breaks to sit down otherwise I feel faint.
*Turning over in bed is becoming increasingly difficult.
*I still worry over the health and safety of my baby and breathe a sigh of relief each time I feel her move or kick.

Become a myCommunity member and set up your own SharingSite page to document your pregnancy and share baby photos with loved ones.

Let’s hear from you!
What is your favorite way to document your pregnancy and child’s birth?

“Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” –E.B. White, from Charlotte’s Web

Let’s talk about ‘nesting.’ Nesting is typically a last-trimester phenomenon wherein a pregnant woman’s natural instincts “take over” and cause her to clean things to the standards of an operating room and organize rooms, furniture and clothing akin to a military maneuver.

You know that you are nesting if you:
-Panic if you don’t have a crib purchased by week 33. (I have done this in the past.)

You know that you are deep into nesting if you:
-Panic if that crib is not erected and placed in the nursery by week 33. (I’ve done this too.)

You know that you need to join a nesting support group if you:
-Scream and fall apart sobbing if ‘said crib’ does not have the matching sheets, bumper pad, quilt and bed skirt double-washed in Dreft, ironed, and placed on the crib with the perfect mobile suspended from the rail with a verbal threat of annihilation if anyone dares to move a single blanket or stuffed animal out of place. (Sadly, although not my finest moment…I’ve done this too…sigh….)

Strangely, with baby #5 on the way, my nesting looks much different than it did with my first four. Oh…I’m still nesting, to be sure…but it does not involve organizing onesies by size and color, nor does it include creating a checklist for my diaper bag. (Another one of the skeletons-in-the-closet of my nesting past.)

With this pregnancy, it’s the patio furniture. I have no crib. I have nary a diaper in the whole house. Not even one. The baby clothes remain unwashed in the Rubbermaid container in the attic. Sadly, I have no desire to scrub, wash, disinfect or sterilize any baby items, yet…. But, I am completely obsessed with making sure that I have an immaculate backyard seating ensemble. And flowers in their pots. And a tidy lawn. None of this has anything to do with preparing for a baby.

Of course, I am personally too tired to actually perform any of the cleaning, planting, mowing, and raking duties required to achieve landscape perfection. So, I’ve wearily begged my kind husband, Travis, to adopt my patio preparation frenzy. Out of the goodness of his heart (and because he is sick of hearing me whine), he did all of the work for me while I napped gratefully on the couch.

I told him that when it was all said and done, he too would be happy to have the backyard completed for cookouts with family and friends. (Because secretly, he really enjoys a nice looking backyard when company comes over.) I like to call it his ‘Guesting Instinct.’

Perhaps in the next week, I’ll start washing baby clothes…but more likely, I’ll reorganize my file drawers.

What’s happening to baby this week?
*Baby now weighs approximately four-and-a-half pounds.
*Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) are the uterus’s way of warming up for the main event. They can sometimes be uncomfortable and last up to 30 seconds. Rather than being frightened or concerned, consider them a ‘tap on the shoulder’ leading up to actual delivery.
*The hormone progesterone is being produced at a rapid rate (250 milligrams a day) vs. a few milligrams during a normal menstrual cycle. This combined with the increase of estrogen which multiplies by 20-30 times, can cause you to feel weepy, depressed and suddenly emotional. It is very normal. Don’t be alarmed.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*I am distracted and clumsy…moving from one unfinished project to the next.
*Surprisingly, I am not yet worried about the lack of preparation for the baby to come home…call it denial.
*I have made peace with my exhaustion; lying down whenever my body can’t go one more step.

Are you prepared for baby to arrive? Visit our Web site to sign up for classes, including Breastfeeding Basics and CPR for Parents and Grandparents.

Let’s hear from you!
What ways have you found yourself ‘nesting’ to get ready for your baby?

“Cleaning your house while kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing.”   –Phyllis Diller

I lived in Moscow, Russia for a year. We had no hot water for two months while the city’s boilers were being cleaned. I walked to four different kiosks to buy bread, eggs, juice and fruit. Each one was a half-mile from any of the others. And, least of my concerns, there was no dishwasher in my kitchen. This all took place B.C. (Before Children)

Now, I know there are some heroic moms out there that still have no dishwasher, line dry their clothing and grind their own wheat for homemade bread. These women, in my opinion, are rock stars. I, however, am not. I like being able to put dirty things in a metal box, wait an hour, and have them come out clean and fresh. Call me pampered. Actually, call me tired. Dirty dishes and cups procreate faster than rabbits in my house.

This week, our dishwasher died. It’s no wonder; the nice man who delivered the new one said, “Lady, I’ve never even SEEN a model this old!” I was hoping he wasn’t talking about my pregnant body. Turns out, our dishwasher was almost as old as I am. No wonder the ol’ gal gave up the ghost. After washing the millionth juice cup and cereal bowl, I’d call it a day as well.

But, worse than having a dead dishwasher, was the task of purchasing a NEW one. I first made the grave mistake of suggesting we go shopping for one as a family. Two of my kids were using the aisles as a ‘Heely’ skate park, my daughter kept asking me how to pronounce words in her My Little Pony book and my other son needed to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, the outing lasted exactly seven minutes when my husband asked, “Whose crazy idea was this anyway?”

So, the next trip, I went solo (after losing ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ to my husband). My next mistake was asking the nice salesperson to explain the various features of the 382,000 display models in front of me. We are apparently a country that really, really likes to wash dishes!

Here’s what I needed:
A dishwasher.
One that cleans dishes.
And lasts a long, long time without ever breaking.
And costs less than an automobile.

Apparently, this is a tall order.

But, I did find one. It doesn’t steam, sauna or give a mani/pedi to the fine china, but it does the job of swishing hot water and soap around so that I don’t have to. Called Travis to check on the purchase and he said, “Yes. Wonderful. Get it. Now come home; the kids are going nuts.”

Handy husband that he is, he removed the old washer and installed the new one. Works like a charm. Now I’m praying that the 40-year-old washing machine and refrigerator like their job security well enough to forego retirement for several more years.

What’s happening to baby this week?
*Baby now weighs approximately four pounds.
*The baby has predictable wake/sleep cycles now. This is guaranteed to change once baby is born.
*YOUR wake/sleep cycles may be anything but predictable. Sleeping may be difficult and uncomfortable and you may have to use the bathroom many times during the night.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*Even though I’ve had four babies, I’m having crazy, disturbing dreams about the health and safety of this baby (very normal I’m told).
*Naps are my friend.
*I’m getting weary of taking my prenatals…but I’m taking them nonetheless.

You won’t sacrifice any luxuries during your Community hospital stay. Click here to view pictures and learn more about our maternity suites.

Let’s hear from you!
What is your ‘luxury item’ you couldn’t live without during pregnancy?

“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.”   –Martin Buber

Traveling while pregnant can be quite the undertaking. Not nearly as difficult as traveling with a baby, or, say, with four screaming kids in the back seat for that matter, but pregnant travel does pose its challenges.

There’s the lack of comfort: Where to put your swollen feet up? How to ride so that the seatbelt is securely under your belly but not making an incision across your midsection? Where’s the next rest stop? How much longer?

And there’s the food issue: Are you hungry? I’m hungry! What do you mean we just ate 45 minutes ago? I’m starving! No, I don’t want a piece of gum…I want a whole rotisserie chicken and a milkshake! Isn’t there a Cracker Barrel somewhere near here?

In a way, a physical journey mimics the nine-month journey. There are sudden weather delays, last minute changes, the possible flat tire or mechanical trouble, and routine stops for food and fuel. Some peoples’ travels are smooth and uneventful, while others encounter freak storms, colossal rerouting and completely different itineraries than they anticipated.

But, unlike the common phrase, “It’s all about the journey…,” the real goal during pregnancy is the destination: a healthy, beautiful new life at the end of the trip.

Which, of course, is truly only just the beginning of the real journey…

What’s happening to baby this week? 
*Baby now weighs approximately three-and-a-half pounds.
*Making room: Because the baby is growing so fast, your body has reduced the amount of amniotic fluid; half of what it was a month ago.
*Baby’s lungs are maturing rapidly as well; baby is rehearsing at intervals by breathing in amniotic fluid and expelling it.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*I have learned to pack lots and lots of good snacks when traveling: inevitably I will need to eat four small meals for every one meal needed by my traveling companions.
*I take advantage of every rest stop opportunity while traveling. And stay hydrated in between stops.
*Okay…I confess…this week I’ve been pretty crabby. Traveling has worn me out.

Ready for your baby’s first trip? Visit our car seat safety page to get started.

Let’s hear from you!
What are your best ‘traveling while pregnant’ tips?

“Because they’ve either conveniently forgotten with time or they’re trying to be supportive, most mothers won’t tell you how hard pregnancy (and then childbirth) can be. Let me tell you, it is. It’s brutal sometimes! But, if I did it, ANYONE can do it. I mean, I always knew I was meant to do something really BIG in life, and now I know that this was it. Forget winning an Academy Award someday … I GAVE BIRTH.”   –Jenny McCarthy (comedian/actress)

What is it with women who have a ‘high pain threshold’? Are they superheroes? My mother-in-law delivered my husband with no pain medication (and not the slightest inconvenience of a ‘real’ contraction) in one push. She’s amazing.

I, on the other hand, get a splinter on my finger and am begging for an epidural for my arm.

NOT the best candidate to have gestational diabetes; or to simply suffer the general aches and pains of pregnancy, for that matter.

But, alas, I was diagnosed with G.D. To be sure, I have it MUCH better than many other moms who have to take insulin shots, or are confined to bed rest, or a myriad of other health constraints during pregnancy. I have to stick myself with a pin several times a day (which my children think is “really cool”!), and, I have to be careful what I eat. Balance my proteins and carbohydrates and cut back on sugars. I think the eating part is more difficult than the ‘poking with a pin’ part. I LIKE sugar. I mean… really, really enjoy it, thank you very much. Never tempted by Doritos, but bring a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies to my door and I’m your best friend for life!

My husband keeps reminding me that I’m doing this for our child. Which really, for every pregnant woman, is the mantra for the rest of her life: Doing things for her child. Giving up sleep, rocking them when they have a fever, helping them with school projects, being the last to eat your (now room temperature) dinner, etc. But, for some strange reason, they are sacrifices that we willingly do out of devotion for our child.

I’ve always thought the tag-line of the Peace Corps would be perfect for The National Association of Mothers: “The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love.”

So, I’ll gladly give up the Toll House. And, if you come over for a visit, I’d be grateful for a nice handful of almonds and some string cheese instead.

What’s happening to baby this week? 
*Baby now weighs three pounds and is 17” long (two-thirds its birth length).
*Baby blues: Baby’s eyelids are able to open now and the eyelashes and eyebrows have developed. Most newborns (especially of parents with fair skin) are born with slate blue eyes, but the true color begins to come through in the first several weeks after birth.
*Baby’s level of infection fighting antibodies now is equivalent to mom’s.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*Learned a great deal from the Diabetes Care Center; they were very kind and supportive.
*Protein is my friend. Protein is my friend. Protein is my friend.
*Pricking my finger is not as bad as I thought; I actually barely feel it anymore. Now, my varicose veins on the other hand….

Let’s hear from you!
What is the biggest lifestyle change you have made since becoming pregnant?

“Pregnancy seems like a tremendous abdication of control. Something growing inside you which will eventually usurp your life.”   –Erica Jong

I have this memory: I’m four years old, riding in the backseat after church, sobbing. I am limp and shaking from hunger and I am crying from the lack of food (the Cheerios snack during Sunday school just didn’t cut it). My mom has since said, “I don’t know why I never thought to bring crackers in the car for you!”

As an adult, I now have crackers in my car. At all times. And granola bars, nuts, raisins and the occasional protein shake. I’ve always had a blood sugar problem. If I eat every, oh, hour on the hour, then I’m fine. If not, I do “the Whitman stare” as my husband refers to it. Even as I type this, I am eating a bowl of oatmeal with sliced strawberries. It’s 10:23 at night. And I just might have some toast before bed.

Each pregnancy, I take the dreaded “glucola” test. Basically, you drink a ridiculously (maliciously?) sweet 10-ounce beverage (the equivalent of 30 Campfire Marshmallows), and then have your blood drawn an hour later to see if your sugar levels are still too elevated. I always fail the one-hour screening. Seems like an odd test to me. Perhaps I’m just bitter and jealous of the women who actually pass. Perhaps I’m just grumpy because none of the other women in my family have struggled with blood sugar levels. Perhaps I just need a (less sugary) snack.

I’ve always thought that a simpler, and, (in my feeble mind), just as accurate test, would be to invite a few friends out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, feast on pancakes, maple syrup and orange juice, and THEN get your blood drawn. SO much more fun than drinking warm Hawaiian Punch concentrate in the waiting room!

But alas, doctor knows best. So, this week I took the test. In talking with other pregnant women, this test is a pretty paltry inconvenience compared to some of the scary things they face: bed rest, early labor, placenta previa, and other challenges that make my husband beg me to avoid the Internet because of my penchant toward unfounded fears and worrying.

Having gestational diabetes is one of those fears. I immediately picture myself with lancets and insulin pumps and a 23 lb. baby upon delivery. Until those fears are confirmed, I will continue to follow the advice of my family and friends: “Eat healthy, well balanced meals as often as you need to.”

So, some people sleep like a baby; I apparently eat like one.

What’s happening to baby this week?
*Baby now weighs two-and-three-quarters pounds.
*Swimming anyone? Baby’s hearing is now quite developed…similar to the sounds you hear when someone talks to you while you are underwater.
*Baby is able to distinguish voices; speaking of underwater, my husband has now taken to ‘talking’ to our baby…but he doesn’t use his regular voice. He sounds more like the mating call of a large whale. So, when the baby is born, she won’t necessarily recognize Daddy’s voice, but she’ll bond well with Shamu.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*I’ve dreaded this glucose test; just thinking about drinking the juice makes me a bit nauseated.
*I’ve developed a pain in my left groin that makes me limp around like Igor. I’m told it’s a varicose vein in my ‘feminine area.’ Lovely.
*I am on the quest to find a car seat and stroller. Again, the Internet is a dangerous place for me: Too many options, too much information, not enough cash flow. In my opinion, a stroller should not cost more than our vehicle; some of them do.

Let’s hear from you!
What is the most challenging aspect of pregnancy for you?

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”   –George W. Bush

Although good ol’ Mr. Bush uttered this infamous “foot in mouth” quote, it does indeed ring true. OB/GYNs are a pretty unique bunch. They voluntarily work each day with women (and their most modest womanly parts) who are weepy, euphoric, sleep deprived, incontinent, nauseated, chock full of worrisome questions AND they want their doctor to be part psychologist, part best friend, part omnipotent fortune teller. Tall order.

In his book Babyhood (which, I would highly recommend for hilarious nighttime reading aloud to your significant other), Paul Reiser says this:

“Women bond with their gynecologists. Men have none of this. You rarely hear men say, ‘I just love my proctologist.’ Or, ‘I really need a urologist I can talk to.’ For women, this relationship is very complex.

{During our appointment, my wife and I} went from serious adults who were discussing matters of medical importance with this trained professional to suddenly being just a goofy couple in a room, one of whom was virtually naked and had just been handled in the most personal of ways and the other of whom was standing there in a jacket.”

I met my new OB/GYN this week, Dr. Cathy Carr at Community North. I found her through Community’s ‘Find a Doctor’ Web link. She and her staff are just terrific. None of my obsessively hormonally based questions scared her off. She answered each of them with a smile, a nod and a reassuring answer to quell my fears. She did everything but offer me a large decaf chai latte. I definitely consider her ‘girlfriend’ material. Even without the latte.

What’s happening to baby this week? 
*In the last four weeks, baby’s weight has doubled; weight is about two-and-a-half pounds.
*At the end of this week, baby has a good chance of survival if born early.
*The lungs are producing surfactant, a detergent type of substance that prepares the lungs for that first deep breath.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*I’m completely hormonal; dancing with my kids in the kitchen one moment…sobbing in a heap on the couch the next. My poor husband is at a loss.
*I’ve been living on cereal and fruit; it’s the only thing that sounds good this week.
*I still wouldn’t trade the experience of pregnancy for the ability to fit into ‘skinny jeans.’ Okay, well, maybe if they were really, really cute jeans that made me look like I had the backside of movie star. But, I’d probably still opt for being round and pregnant.

Looking for a pediatrician? Use our Find a Doctor tool to get started!

Let’s hear from you!
What is most important to you in your relationship with your OB/GYN or family physician?

“Making a decision to have a child–it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”   –Elizabeth Stone

I wasn’t supposed to be a mom. I was going to be a famous news anchor. Or a fabulous Broadway performer. Never mind the fact that I can’t really sing. Or have an aversion to depressing, troublesome and disturbing news stories. I certainly wasn’t cut out to have children.

My sister Deb was going to be the mother. She loved babies. Adored them, in fact. I, on the other hand, babysat exactly twice. The first time I gagged my way through the sweet potato feeding. The second time, I turned to throw a dirty diaper in the pail and caught my 9-month-old charge seconds before she tumbled off the changing table. (Nobody told me that watching them meant you had to actually WATCH them!) Obviously, Broadway show tunes would be FAR easier!

I remember my grandmother telling me that when God wanted to bless someone in ancient times, he almost always granted them land, livestock and children. Lots and lots of children. At the time, I understood the value of a good herd of sheep, but kids? Not so much. They eat nasty sweet potatoes and launch themselves off of changing tables.

Apparently, I should have been born in first century Israel. I now have four children. And am due with my fifth. And consider myself one of the most blessed women I know. Go figure.

I’d like to invite you to join me for the ‘Home Stretch’ of my pregnancy, and share your baby story with me as well.

We’ll talk about the joys and fears of pregnancy and motherhood, discuss hints and tips for triumphantly moving through these incredible nine months, and, you’ll get to watch me get larger each week. Much larger. And, you’ll come with me into the delivery room for the main event! Thanks for joining me in this journey!

What’s happening to baby this week?
*This week marks the beginning of the third trimester.
*Baby now weighs around two pounds and is about 15 inches long.
*The eyes (which began forming during the fifth week of pregnancy), are able to blink open and respond to light through the womb.

What’s happening with ME this week?
*It’s official: I can no longer climb a flight of stairs without getting winded.
*My heartburn (which went dormant for a few weeks) has made its fabulous encore.
*I awaken each and every morning with a thrill in my heart when I feel this baby move inside me.

Have you scheduled your childbirth prep class yet? If not, click here to register.

Let’s hear from you!
What’s the craziest thing anyone has ever said to you while pregnant?

Lisa and Travis have invited us to join them on a very special journey: they’re having a baby. It will be Travis’ first child and Lisa’s fifth—the accompanying video will tell you more about how they met and became a family. As they navigate the third trimester, they’ll add to this blog with more stories and insights about pregnancy and their experience at Community. Along the way they’ll invite you to join the discussion and weigh in with your own thoughts about pregnancy and childbirth.

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